“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted”
Matthew 5:4 TPT
Grief is a path we must travel alone, and it takes on many different forms, unique to each person. It can stem from the death of a loved one, the loss of a pet, the anguish of divorce, joblessness, homelessness, and the loss of independence. These losses impact us in ways we cannot always convey to others. The journey of grief traverses the heart and soul, and every person who endures such a loss carries their own set of cherished memories they hold deep within.
While support is essential during the grieving process, it’s a road one must walk alone, and at times, it can feel isolated and painful. These feelings are normal, but we should not avoid the pain we feel or avoid friends and family. There is never anything wrong with asking for help during the pain of grief and isolation; reaching out for support and prayer can be a positive step that makes you stronger.
Recently, I undertook the task of cleaning out a bedroom closet, a space that had become a catch-all for various belongings. As I began to organize and remove items from the closet, a flood of memories washed over my mind. I recalled a specific day when my dad, my sister, and I had driven my mom to Dallas for her final treatment. After her treatment, she insisted on shopping for blankets for all of us for that year’s Christmas. I can still vividly remember that day.
She thought about which blanket was meant for each of us, selecting a special one for everyone. Unfortunately, she passed away on December 2nd, missing the chance to see us open those gifts. Having those blankets wrapped and under the Christmas tree was painful and touching. We wept as we opened them, but even amidst our sorrow, we cherished the memories we’d carried with us for the rest of our lives.
As I continued cleaning, I stumbled upon a plastic bin that held my mother’s sewing items – Thread, fabric, ribbon, buttons, and lace. Being the only seamstress among my three sisters, I inherited my mother’s sewing supplies. I had originally planned to organize them, get matching containers, and have everything neatly arranged. But something stopped me when I considered changing the bins. I opened one, and, to my surprise, I could still smell her.
To this day, those containers remain precisely as they were when I brought them home. On days when I miss her, I go into the closet where they are stored, open a thread bin, breath deeply, and savor her scent. It’s a simple thing that brings me comfort. The smell is more than just a scent; It’s attached to all the memories of the times we sewed together, even when I was a little girl watching her work at the sewing machine. In my mind, I can walk through the front door of my family home, move through the rooms, and fill her presence.
“So you have sorrow, no, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy.”
John 16:22 TPT
It has been almost 20 years since my mother passed, yet the containers remain untouched. I can’t change anything about them because they are tangible reminders of when she was with me.
Grief is a profoundly personal journey, and it’s okay for us to experience it differently. Sometimes, it can be a lonely road, filled with moments we struggle to articulate and share. Grief is the price we pay for love, a force that changes us and leads us to a new normal. Grief can be a beautiful teacher if we remain open to change and willing to learn. It shows us how to live genuinely and grow.
Some days, I yearned to pick up the phone and tell my mom about all the family activities, including birthdays, births, graduations, weddings, and funerals. Many chapters of life have unfolded since her passing, filled with joy, sadness, and happiness. I speak to God during these moments, asking him to convey my love and longing to her.
For now, I hold these cherished memories close in my heart, recalling the moments and seasons of joy we shared. Thinking back on the events and family gatherings she attended, I smile and say, “It is well with my soul.”
“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”
Jose N. Harris
Grief may change us, but we never truly get over it. Instead, we learn to live with the loss and hold on to the memories that propel us forward, living in a way that honors the legacy they would be proud of.
