Tragic Memories
By Joni Eareckson TadaThis week marks 56 years since I severed my spinal column in a shallow dive. How I’d love to park my wheelchair at your kitchen table to share how God’s grace has been so life-transforming through my quadriplegia. And this week, it seems right to celebrate the memory of that tragic day because it is no longer tragic.
It wasn’t always that way. There was a time when memories of that fateful day brought only sorrow, regret, and grief. Just hearing people talk about my long stay in the hospital made me feel miserable. Even memories of early hospital visits from Christian friends—they only made me more depressed. I looked at every memory of my accident through the lens of my despondency. Every recollection of that difficult season in my life led to more sadness.
The prophet Jeremiah faced a similar difficulty. The memory of his horrific suffering overwhelmed him with sadness. Still, Jeremiah was able to write, “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.” Yes, the memory of his suffering was terribly painful, but it was also surprisingly hope-filled. For in it, Jeremiah experienced the Lord’s great love and compassion. And I look at my accident the same way—it was a terrible day, yet wonderful because it pressed me up against the love of my Lord!
If we remain pessimistic about painful times, those sorrowful memories will always be gloomy. But when we, like Jeremiah, remember difficult times through the optimistic message of God’s Word, then we are assured that God works even that awful thing out for our good and his glory. We are assured that nothing touched us that was not first filtered through God’s wise fingers. We are assured that even the worst of our past fits into God’s greater plan for our life.
It’s been true for the 56 years I’ve lived with quadriplegia, and it’s true for you.
God, I don’t want my memories to breed despondency. Please let me see the painful times in my history with a biblical optimism, recognizing them as a reason for joyful hope. Turn the gloomy memories I carry with me into a showcase where I can enjoy a new awareness of your awesome and mysterious ways.
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