A Question I Dare Not Ask


It’s on my mind most every single day. I’m not sure that it may not be a sin on my part. I’m concerned and frustrated about the empty seats in the church of God. I’m not concerned about why someone who has health issues is not at church. I can almost guarantee that if they had their druthers they’d be there. I’m not frustrated, but rather saddened about those who are not saved. But children of the living God, whom I see in multiple places, without regard for virus’ or concerns of life, but seldom, if ever, darken the doorstep of God, bother me. And as I said, I’m not so sure it’s not sin on my part that I put so much thought into it. I want to ask them why. I dare not for fear of answers.

A friend of mine who has had health struggles month after month was telling me this week of a neighbor who hasn’t been in church for 30 years because someone hurt them. What? It’s a good thing God doesn’t stop talking to those who hurt His feelings, else He’d never speak to me again. That thought makes my heart hurt. I don’t know what I’d do were it not for having Him to talk to. And I fail miserably at that sometimes. But how can one stay away from God’s house for 30 years and call themselves a child of God? How do you not have doubts and un-soothed fears that create an unsettledness inside of you that is too much to bear? I’d love to ask them, but I dare not. I have a feeling that I’ll get some half hearted answers such as “God and I talk all the time.” Do ya? Or  they’ll say “You’re judging me, and the Bible says thou shalt not judge? Does it? I have a song in my repertoire with the words, “I’m not judging, I’m just wonderin’ if Heaven’s going to be her home.”

I wonder that, because I remember when I used to say I was a Christian, but had no desire to darken the doorstep of God. For the record, I wasn’t a Christian. I also remember when someone in the church broke my heart, and I mean broken beyond description. 💔. I remember considering leaving the church, but I knew that that was where God had placed me and purposed me, so I stayed. It hurt. Not just a little. Over time God repaired my heart.   ❤️‍🩹 He restored the relationship between me and the person that hurt me. It took time and it still hurts sometimes. But then I think about how many times I’ve hurt God, and my pain pales in comparison, so I shut my pie hole and get back to serving God.

I felt the need to write this blog as a therapeutic way of dealing with the struggle in hopes that maybe anyone who’s out of church might read it and remember what God did for them. Or perhaps someone who’s never to been to church might wonder 💭 what all my wondering is about. Why is church so important to me?

The Lost Girl

Have you ever felt a disconnection from the world you live in? I did. As a child I felt that disconnection and I know now that it was God preparing me to come out of Satan’s world and into His. I knew I didn’t belong, but I didn’t know why until the day that I went to a church and experienced Jesus. Experiential faith. That’s what happens when your life does a 360 degree turn like mine did. I belonged for the first time in my life! I have always had an awesome family, but that didn’t fill the void that was in my life. People tried to make me happy, but they could not. I filled my life with “stuff” to satisfy me, but it did not. I would lay down at night and fear death. I had no peace, nor did I have the answers even though I was brought up in church and attended church with my children, until I experienced Jesus. That was the day the lost girl was found.

The Found Girl

February 18, 1996 I sat on the back row of a new church wishing I was anywhere but there. As the preacher preached my eyes leaked. A few weeks later of being drawn back to that church my eyes were not leaking, I was sobbing. The conviction upon my heart for living a sinful, ungrateful life was more than my heart could stand until I finally repented and gave my heart back to the One who created it. Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind but now I see. Yes! To the song writer John Newton, I understand. I experienced sweet salvation and discovered to Whom I belonged.

The Jesus Chick

It’s more than a title, it’s a ministry and purpose. It was given to me by a preacher who knew my heart for Christ, who poured into me the word of God and gave me the tools to minister to a hurting world by living it out in his own life. He was a mighty man of God, used to build a church of two thousand; it was that same man that Satan relentlessly sought until he fell. And when he fell, I got a huge dose of reality. If Satan could take down such a warrior, he could take me down in a heartbeat. And so there is another of the many, many reasons I’m in church at every opportunity. Falling both spiritually and physically terrifies me. But falling spiritually can not only leave a mark on myself, but can also cause others to fall as well. I want no soul laid to my charge because I failed God.

Hebrews 10:25 is often quoted as a reminder to stay in church. But the preceding verses are what causes 10:25 to come to pass.

Hebrews 10:22-25 KJVS

[22] Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. [23] Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) [24] And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: [25] Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is ; but exhorting one another : and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

If you don’t have a church, please find one.

If you are away from church, please return.

If you have a church, please stay faithful.

If you are seeking a church, (and you’re close) come to mine.

You are loved. ~ Shari, the Jesus 🐓 chick

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