“Doug” –the husband of a friend—gets very upset when she spends time with girlfriends. If she gets away for the rare lunch date or shopping excursion he’s badgering her to come home before she’s even entered into a meaningful conversation.
“Tom”—the husband of another woman—won’t go to church with her because he doesn’t really agree with what’s being taught, doesn’t want to hear about God and would rather sleep late on Sunday mornings. “Neal” is OK with his wife’s “girl time” and goes along to church each week, but he doesn’t believe he should help with the house. They both have full-time jobs but for some reason he leaves the “domestic chores” to her.
The names are changed, but these are guys I am acquainted with. I’m always a bit anxious when I meet Doug’s wife because I know we’ll be interrupted and she’ll be distracted and pressured to cut our visit short.
It makes me sad to see Tom’s wife sitting alone or with other couples at church. I know she longs for him to be by her side, if not for himself, out of love and respect because it’s so important to her.
It is virtually impossible to get together with Neal’s wife because she’s always too busy or too tired. She’s getting fed up and starting to complain…maybe she should talk to him instead of me…or maybe he just isn’t listening?
There’s a line in an old song that says, “I feel sorry for anyone who isn’t me.” Honestly, that’s my refrain when it comes to my husband. He works hard without complaining; doesn’t question how long I’ll be if I head out with girlfriends and pulls equal duty at home.
But there’s more. He drops me off near the door of restaurants so I don’t have to walk far, especially when the weather’s uncomfortable. He intentionally compliments me on my appearance, cooking and writing projects. He’s always appreciative of my help at our business.
A neighbor called tonight to ask me (us) to bring him some gas because he’d run out. I got up as I was explaining to my husband, asking him to come with me.
“I’ll go…you stay here!” he said. I told him we’d both go but he insisted I stay home and relax. “That’s what husbands do,” he said simply.
Sadly, all husbands’ definition of their role doesn’t come from his book. I’m eternally grateful that mine got his job description from an all-time best seller inspired by the author of marriage.