Why Doesn’t She Like Me?


We walk into a room filled with women and our first thoughts are, “I hope everyone likes me”. Why is this so important to us? We all want to be loved, accepted, and needed. But sadly that isn’t what we always get from women is it? Why do we have to be so mean to one another?

Ladies, it doesn’t matter where we live, what denomination we are, or what our vocation is at the time. We are daughters of the Most High. There isn’t one more important than the other. We all stand out to Him. Our Creator, the One who created us all unique. When you’re a daughter of the King it’s a cool thing to be different. It’s those unique talents that He gave to just us that sets us apart. But as sisters in Christ we aren’t to be apart. We are stand together. Lifting one another up. Encouraging each other. Inspiring the heart of our sisters. We are to be prayer warriors for one another. We are to bring out the best in one another.

See, this is something the world may not understand, but as sisters in Christ, knowing the Word, whether we have had an intimate relationship with Jesus for our entire lives or we have just met, this is something we should be getting. In fact, this is a beauty we should be showing the world.

When sisters of Christ stand as one we are unstoppable! We are to encourage one another in the Word. Walk with one another in our trials and celebrate in our joys. When one celebrates we all celebrate with her. When one is facing the unspeakable we walk the journey with her.

We don’t need hugs on Sunday morning covered in smiles and how do you do’s, but behind our back something ugly and unneeded shows when we aren’t looking. We need sisters in Christ surrounding us who are real. Not afraid to be themselves and not afraid to step out of their comfort zone.

Something we surely don’t need are cliques. Church isn’t the place for a country club life. It’s the place we worship and grow as daughters of the Most High. Our Abba Father didn’t create us to separate ourselves from others or cast others out of our circle, but to invite sisters in and have a wide enough circle that everyone fits and there’s always room for more.

See, what we don’t understand is, we aren’t going to be fast friends with everyone, but we can be friendly. We aren’t going to have giggly relationships with everyone at church, but as we meet sisters in Christ they should always walk away with a smile in their heart and a welcome of love and security.

Grace, forgiveness, and mercy, should be a part of our sister code. Our code? It’s the Word of God. We can’t just speak the words. We have to live them. We measure everything against the Word of God. Especially our attitudes and our motives.

When we walk into a church one of the first people we need to see is a sister reaching out to us in pure love. We need to embrace every woman. In everything we do we should include all women in the church. Not just a few chosen, not just our ‘friends’, but every single women no matter how old or young. How are we ever going to truly understand friendship unless we reach out beyond our comfort zone. We never know how we will connect with others unless we are willing to reach out.

I can tell you there are ladies who have made me feel worthless and unwanted. I have felt shunned by the women I thought were my friends. But have mercy, I wonder just how many women I have wounded in the same way. It breaks my heart to think that I could have caused another sister to hurt because of my actions or lack of actions.

Our relationships with others would be so much better if we would simply be the friend we want to have. The world is watching. Other Christians are watching. We are to be the example. Not because we have to, but because we want to. Love should be flowing from our hearts. Not jealousy, strife and envy. Gossip shouldn’t be a part of conversation with others sisters. If we aren’t lifting one another up we need to be finding a way of learning how to do so. Look around and see the mentors around us. Pick one and have a prayer partner. Have a sister to help hold us accountable.

See, our business isn’t for everyone to know. We often over share. We don’t have to share every aspect of our lives with others, but when we feel led to share and our journey can help encourage another sister, speak up!

Sisters, we need to be speak up for one another. Live a life of love and tenderness. Open up our heart and have room for everyone. The people we’re keeping at arms length could be the very sisters who change our life forever.

The key is finding balance. Of course we are going to have friends in church that we are closer to than others. But when in church we shouldn’t be making a difference. In fact, you shouldn’t be able to tell who is best friends and who just met a few weeks ago. Our sisterly love should cover all and grace should not just be words upon our lips, but lived out in every action. See, when we make everyone feel needed and wanted we do something spectacular. We give women room to grow into who God has created them to be.

One of the greatest gifts we can give to another sister is to give her room be herself and to allow her to be the extraordinary beauty she is.

“The fact that I am a women does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I’m a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.”
Elisabeth Elliot

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.