I’m Packin’ Balm Today

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Balm-of-Gilead-TreeRecover!

That’s how I was jolted out of a dream or nightmare (I’m not sure which) about the hiring of our new Pastor. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been at a level of physical, emotional, mental and Spiritual health that was normal (well normal for me.)  So when I awoke with that one word thought this morning I was excited! Because it may have only been one word, but it had such a sweet sound! I began to think about all the things I was ready to recover from and wondered how many of you were ready for a time of recovery?

Strayed Strength

Because of a virus coursing its way through my body I felt as though my strength had forsaken me, and that lead to my mind convincing me that a lot of other things and people had forsaken me. A weakened condition of the body leaves breaches in the mind that Satan is waiting for. When Nehemiah rebuilt the wall around Jerusalem he had to fix the breaches and there were people who weren’t happy.

Nehemiah 4:7

But it came to pass, that when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and the Arabians, and the Ammonites, and the Ashdodites, heard that the walls of Jerusalem were made up, and that the breaches began to be stopped, then they were very wroth,

Stopping the breaches will block off the naysayers and discouragers and allow the recovery to begin. But it’s not like we can run down to the hardware store and get block and mortar to solve the problem, so how do we stop the breaches of the mind?

Jeremiah 8:22

 Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there? why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered?

Jeremiah questioned why they were not healed, because he knew that the Great Physician stood by ready to apply the balm; but the fact of the matter was they wouldn’t submit to the application. Often times our healing won’t take place because we won’t follow the prescription… or even visit the physician. As for my physical state I’ve refused to go to a physician for fear they’d say I was sick…. Yeah I know… and I’m no better off on the emotional and spiritual state!  When people hurt me, I put up a hard shell and told myself that I was protected by the blood of Jesus, which was true but I didn’t need a hard shell, I needed the softness of the Savior that I would have gotten from the Balm of Gilead. Jesus would have soothed my hurt away, but I shut down. Rather than taking it to Him I just shut off everyone.

Spiritually I shut down too. I’d try to read the scripture but as sure as I did the breaches were too great to stay focused and I was constantly battling the enemy. So again I shut down. Nehemiah was successful at repairing the breaches because he enlisted help. I had allowed my physical state to isolate me spiritually as well. I would occasionally allow someone in, but for fear of exposing them to the physical virus as well as the emotional fall out I was going through I wouldn’t let them stay long, and I certainly wouldn’t divulge how very vulnerable I felt. The end result… more time alone with just me and my thoughts and Satan.

Today is a day of recovery. I’m still not 100% physically, emotionally or spiritually but I’m packin’ balm today! I’m allowing the great Physician to soothe my tattered body inside and out.

Life’s lessons would be much easier if I’d listen earlier. Whether it’s sin in my life or sorrow, the Savior can’t fix it unless I’m willing to submit to His ways…

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